Why I love second-hand books.

I love the written word. In fact I can spend an entire day dodging my responsibilities while consumed by a riveting read. And I love, love, love quirky little second-hand book shops. You know the ones I mean. They're usually found in some out-of-the-way arcade and are either the size of my wardrobe or roam over three floors served by rickety wooden stairs that would never pass a health and safety check. They're packed floor to ceiling with books, the assistant is so busy reading they don't seem to have any time to serve you, and they only take cash. Fortunately second hand books are cheap, so very little cash goes a long way.

A find this week (see pic below) set me to wonder what it is about reading, and about second-hand books in particular,that I find so enthralling?

Three beauties picked up for the grand sum of $2 each.

To start with, I love the smell of old books. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoy that musty dry fragrance. I love the feel of paper between my fingers - brittle and worn yet still enduring. I love the sound of pages flicking through my hands, and the thought that someone whose life will never otherwise intersect with mine, has done just that, through the book I hold in my hands. Strangers in all but this one common thing.

I love reading handwritten inscriptions, the ones you find inside the cover. Many are obvious. like 'To Madison on your 16th birthday', or 'Happy Graduation, love Nana'. But some set my imagination alight. One of my favorites I found in a huge white and gold family bible I bought for the grand sum of $8.00, 'Dearest Mum and Dad, thank-you for helping me to believe in new tomorrows, Judy - Christmas 1985'. I like to wonder about Judy, what was happening in her life to inspire such an inscription? Where is she now? Did she find her new tomorrow?

I love the unknown on entering a second-hand book shop. What will I find among these shelves? Will it be inspiring, challenging, entertaining, funny, horrifying, heart-breaking? Books can show you the beauty of life, and the cruelty of the soul. They teach us new skills, show us a new version of ourselves, introduce new possibilities. Books allow us to get lost in another world, visit foreign lands, different cultures, time-travel, find romance, great sex, and amazing adventure. Virginia Woolf wrote that 'second-hand books are wild books, homeless books...(and) in this random miscellaneous company we may rub against some complete stranger who will, with, luck, turn into the best friend we have in the world'.

I was listening to an audio book by Brian Tracey on my way to work one day (my favourite way to cope with Auckland traffic), in which he said the average adult in America reads one book a year. Hold the bus. WHAT.
That can't possibly be true? I felt sick. I rushed to the font of all knowledge (yes I meant to say font) and asked Google.
Up popped a plethora of surveys, research, and audits with such varying findings that I felt my heart rate begin to settle from my initial shock.

I can't imagine my life without a book beside me. I know some people who struggle to read because of dyslexia or similar challenges, but I also know some people (well actually only two people) who have no problem reading, who never pick up a book, ever. I suspect I feel more sorry for them then they probably feel for themselves.

Do you love second-hand books too? If so, leave me a comment and let me know what it is that enthrals you.


Have a great week, and remember, progress not perfection.

Grace

7 tips on parenting from my personal experience.

Remember when all you could think about was having a baby? For me the desire seemed to come out of no-where and just wouldn't go away. It was all I could think about, all I could dream of. I had this wonderful image of The Bloke and I staring lovingly into the face of our perfect offspring as she slept peacefully in our arms ...

And that did happen, for about 5 minutes. Then I realized that the words 'perfect' and 'parent' had nothing in common. That's not to say that my babies weren't adorable, they were. My children are the cutest, cuddliest, funniest, most fantastic children in the world, who have challenged my patience, temper and sanity.

They don't do what they're told, in fact often quite the opposite. They don't follow the 'children should be seen and not heard' idiom at all. I have discovered there is a fine line between protection and spoiling. It's hard to see the line and its super easy to cross it and doubly hard to get back again.

Currently Miss A is a few weeks away from being a teenager, and Miss B is hard on her heels.

I have learned a few things from the last 6 months of trying to maintain communication with an almost 13-year old. Please note that I am not a psychologist, or an educational specialist, or any other kind of expert in anything. But I am a parent, and I've been a child, so I have some experience. This is what I've learnt from that experience.

1. When you wake her gently with a kiss and whisper 'time to get up baby' and she responds with 'Go away mum I hate you', take a really really really deep breath and DON'T take it personally. It's hard to believe, but she really doesn't mean it. Somewhere deep inside that moody soul, she loves you. She's up and down like an emotional yo-yo, imagine how hard that is for her to deal with.

2. Be firm about the technology. I am not anti-tech. I think it is vital for our kids and us to stay on top of technology. In my day it was hogging the telephone and talking to your friends, now it's group chats on Instagram, but it's still communication with their peers and it's important. However, I am sure Miss A's poor behaviour is directly proportional to the amount of time she spends on the iPad. I don't know if there is any research out there to support this view, but for me I can see the difference. The more time on her iPad, the less pleasant she is to everyone around her. Her school did some research on technology use after becoming a BYOD (bring your own device) school and their research found that children who didn't have firm limits on their technology use were more socially isolated, and had lower self esteem than children who did have firm limits. So set them and stick to them. It's amazing how Miss A always has a sudden homework project that just has to be done tonight, as soon as I tell her tech time is up. Too bad.

3. Loads of people say it and it is true, having dinner together around the table allows time for everyone to talk without distractions. If, like my family, there is one child who makes dinner time stressful because they are a super picky eater, make a rule that the dinner is put in front of them and they can choose to eat it or not. Of course there is no dessert if dinner is not eaten. No further discussion, and no negotiation. "What if I eat these three peas and that bit of carrot, can I have three spoons of dessert then?" Kids are exquisite negotiators, don't fall for it. Everyone has to stay at the table until the last person is done. They may all start out grumpy, but mine usually can't contain themselves and have to start talking, and away we go.

4. No matter how many times your children say they hate you. No matter how angry you feel thinking of all the sleepless nights, driving around to events and birthday parties, you have done for them. The thing is parenting is not about keeping score. Your child knows they are loved. If they didn't they couldn't risk being so mean to you. While you shouldn't accept poor behaviour, be happy in the knowledge that your child is so convinced of your love, they can behave this way. Take solace...then ground them.

5. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. In lay terms, everything has consequences. Make sure your child understands the consequences, then let them make some of their own decisions. Experience is the best learning tool. Obviously don't let your children take crazy or unsafe risks. Use your common sense.

6. Accept that you won't always get it right, in fact I often get it horribly wrong. Learn how to apologise. Getting it wrong doesn't make you a rubbish parent. Getting it wrong and not caring does that. Getting it wrong and then torturing yourself about all the psychological damage your child will now suffer sucks the joy out of life. Don't do it. In this I speak from experience. Apologising to your child when you've gotten it wrong is okay. It lets them know that no-one is perfect and no-one should expect to be perfect. It also lets them know we should clean up our mistakes and messes.

7. Find a way to laugh together. It gives everyone something to hold onto during the really rough times.

8. If all else fails, wait until your children are asleep, then sneak in and take selfies with them to hold as ransom...consequences remember.

Below are two resources I have used that offer really helpful and sensible advise. I am not affiliated with either in any way.

Nigel Latta's site  http://www.goldfishwisdom.org/parents.
The Parenting Place http://www.theparentingplace.com/

Let me know in the comments section if you have any parenting tips that have worked for your family.

Grace

How to have the finer things in life on a budget

When living life on a budget, maintaining a lifestyle to which I'd like to be accustomed can be challenging.  This is where thrift or vintage shopping comes into its own.

When I think of a luxury lifestyle, the first word that comes to mind is quality. But modern day quality is expensive. Luckily for us the quality things from days gone are not.

The things of yesteryear were made to last, and last they have. Can you imagine some of the items we purchase now days being bought second hand by someone in 30, 40, or 50 years time?
We live in this throw away society where everything can be replaced easily, and nothing seems to be repairable.

In the last century, when things could not be replaced and were held precious, they were taken care of. Does anyone remember Sunday best? The clothes you were only allowed to wear on Sunday, so you looked your best. Or having a regular dinner set for everyday dining, and one for guests, family celebrations, and Christmas.

Today items made with a similar quality to the last century are expensive. And with good reason. They are made with better materials, often by craftsmen and women who earn a decent wage (deservedly). But they are also often outside the family budget with all the expenses of living in a modern world.

How to get that same quality lifestyle; lovely things for your home, exclusive pieces of jewelry, or just the plain totally unique stuff? Thrift shopping!

Whether you are looking to live a vintage lifestyle, or simply enjoy the finer things in life on a budget, thrift shopping is for you. I know some people are appalled at the thought of using things others have used, but I love to hold a teacup,

or a set of pearl and diamante earrings,

and wonder about their previous owner. Where did they come from? How did they live? What did they think? Although I'll never know the answers to these wonderings, it still sparks my imagination and I feel privileged to be the current owner.

So next time you really really want a beautiful new table setting or a piece of original art no-one else has, grab a few dollars and head out on the hunt. You never know what treasure you'll find.

Maybe a set of beautiful gold leaf embellied dinner plates,

Or a cut glass candlestick holder,

Or a glass-domed cake plate.

What second hand, vintage or thrift treasures have you found? Leave a comment below.

Grace

Treasure hunting

The best part of thrift shopping, or charity shopping? It's the adventure of hunting for treasure. The thrill of finding something fabulous among the detritus of chipped china, stained linen, and tin jewelry. Something everyone else has overlooked. Something no-one else has. Something that makes you smile when you see it. Quirky, vintage, or just plain odd.

I've loved thrift shopping since I was in high school. In our throw-away society I'm constantly amazed at what people toss out, or (hopefully) donate.

I frequent charity and second hand shops, auction sites, and even the dump. I know that sounds terrible, but people throw away perfectly good stuff! I scored a wheel barrow and a hedge trimmer, and would have had a cane lounge chair, but The Bloke wouldn't let me climb down into the pit to retrieve it! I still think longingly of that lounge chair and how good it would have looked on the deck :(.

I've seen people throw away furniture that just needed a sand and a lick of paint, curtains, books, kitchenware, plants, oh the waste. My thrifty Irish soul is mortified.

In local charity shops I've found original art works, vintage china, vintage day gloves, crystal teardrop earrings, table linen, clothes, shoes, costumes, hats, books, furniture, cutlery, Christmas decorations, and even a family bible.

Over the next few weeks I'll be blogging about the treasures I've found. Here's a little taste. This quirky little tea-set was found last week in the local charity shop for the grand total of $8.

Grace

How to design and build a wardrobe

Building a proper wardrobe is like building a home. Indeed, you should think of it like a home, because it is something you're going to live in. It must be comfortable and suit all your needs.

Edith Head


Now ain't that the truth? In daily life a well designed wardrobe saves you time and money. Gone will be the mornings spent rushing around trying to locate your grey trousers, or your red polo neck sweater. Gone will be the days of finding your new pink silk Laura Ashley dress crushed on the floor under an avalanche of winter shoes. Everything will have a place. Oh the dream was so sweet. And it is finally here.



After almost 5 years of looking for a wardrobe company that would design and build my dream wardrobe, without me needing to sell a vital organ to pay for it, I came across this post The View Along the Way - Closet reveal .

And my eyes were opened to the possibilities. I could design and build my own wardrobe. Brilliant!
Why had I never considered this before?

So off to work I went.

Step one: Cull your wardrobe contents.
By far the hardest part of the whole process. Now is the time to discard any item that is too well worn to be seen in public again, anything stained, misshaped, unflattering, or just plain ugly. This includes shoes, belts, handbags, and accessories.

Stocktake whatever is left and decide what should be grouped together.  Business clothes, leisure wear, etc. I went with a simple tops, bottoms, long items, shoes, bags, underwear, folded items, and miscellaneous things (bathing suit, sarongs, gloves, etc).

Step 2 Decide on your design.
Pinterest is the place for this pleasant task. I drew my plan on some math book grid paper. I measured my wardrobe area and wrote the dimensions onto the outside lines. Then I drew up spaces for each type of item from my stocktake list. When calculating the area, you need to consider how long a space you'll need. Include the length of the hanging garment from the rail, including the hanger itself. Do not measure from the top of the space. You'll need room to put the hanger on and off  the rail with ease.

Step 3 Engage the Labour.
Now was the time to convince The Bloke that he should abandon the half-done garage storage project (Build a garage storage unit) and move his carpentry skills into the wardrobe.
If you are thinking you or your husband /partner don't have the skills for this project, add a 'yet' to this thought. While The Bloke is very handy with metal and engines, until the kitchen cabinets (Building a retro inspired kitchen shelving unit) he hadn't done a lot of woodwork other than basic stuff like fencing (just nailing in place straight cut boards). Once I showed him the wardrobe post he thought he could do it.

Step 4 Buy / hire a router.
A router made a huge difference to how professional this job looked. The router cuts out a space in the wood into which you slot the shelf. This makes the unit look like one complete object rather than several pieces stuck together. We bought our router from Bunnings for about $90.
It did take a bit of practice to get the hang of using it. The Bloke recommends clamping a board onto the piece you are about work on. This means you can rest the router against the board and cut a nice straight line.

The router creates the space for the shelf to slot into the upright side. Once its filled and painted it looks like one piece. Can't emphasis enough what a difference this made to the end result.

Step 5 Measure twice, cut once.
This old adage is vital if you want to avoid martial disharmony and any swearing or throwing of small pieces of equipment (or large ones for that matter).
Again make sure to measure your longest item of clothing to be hung so whatever you have decided to put into that area, the section is made long enough so the clothes don't drape on the floor. Don't forget to allow space for the item to be moved on and off the railing.

Step 6 Make your wardrobe.
The Bloke cut all the pieces according to our measurements and then added the routing slots. He used glue and screws to secure the shelves. Right angle brackets were used to attach the shelving units to the wall.
The other thing that made a big difference to the end result was, again, a tip from The View Along the Way Closet make-over. We attached to the front face of the units a 1 1/4 inch strip of cut pine to give it that chunky solid look. What a difference that made when I compare it to the garage unit (Build a garage storage unit).

Step 7 Fill and paint.
We used plaster to fill any gaps or holes. Any nail or screws were tapped in (or screwed in) so they sat below the surface of the wood and were covered with plaster. Once dry, I sanded the excess off and painted the whole thing.  One undercoat and two top coats.  This is a long tedious process and in reflection I should have done the undercoat before the wood was cut up as it would have been so much faster.

And voila...dream wardrobe complete. It was worth every second of work. After a while I did add some wire baskets and as many hooks as I could to store all those little items that never seem to have a place, like fabric flower brooches and fascinators and long beads, and nail polish, and toe separators and on and on...

Sadly when my mobile was stolen most of my photos of the building process were lost (along with all my fiji holiday snaps. Whaaaaa) so only a few of the end result are here and one from the construction. But apart from the routing, we used the same technique as the garage storage unit, so check out that post for details.

The cost of this fabulous creation? Materials (wood, nails, brackets, screws) approx $570 + $90 for the router. The paint and filler we had left over from painting the interior walls. Quite a substantial saving on the commercial wardrobe that would have cost several thousand dollars.

A few wire baskets for holding my purse collection. These were screwed to the free wall and have been soooo useful.

The two free standing units were free from a friend. I have painted one white which turned out better than I had thought, so I must get on to painting the other one!

 I already had the white cane baskets from a unit I used elsewhere in the house. They fit quite well, but will eventually be changed out for black fabric ones.

Hangers that are all the same would be great and make the whole space look more uniform...one day.

This photo is a reflection in the mirror covering the inside wall. This wall couldn't be used for anything else as it backs onto the cavity for the sliding door. The mirror is great for making the space look huge and, of course for checking out my outfit for the day.

The blokes shoe storage...I take no responsibility for this.

So very happy with the end result. A place for everything.

I'm pretty lucky to have such a big space. I'd just like to say after the stocktake and clear out The Bloke has more clothes than me!!!!

But not as many handbags...

Pebble and paving garden path

"But circumstances change. Small causes lead to large effects. New paths are added.
And all anyone can do...is choose".

Kelseyleigh Reber

There is most often that one spot in your garden that really annoys you right? And each time you see it you are reminded that you STILL haven't done anything about it. You berate yourself and swear to rectify it immediately...shortly...in the very near future...next year.

The pathway leading to our lovely new deck is that spot for me. When we moved here it was an old cracked asphalt walkway. Over the years and as the rest of the house became more renovated that path began to look worse and worse.

I decided to concrete over the already defined space. And so a friend dug the asphalt up in preparation. Then I began the tedious process of finding a tradesman and getting quotes. When I finally managed to find someone willing to so such a small area, it was way outside my budget. I thought about laying the concrete myself, and was working up my courage when another idea saved me.

I was looking at photos of the garden of a friend. One of the photo's was of her pathway around the side of her house and I was instantly captured. The photo showed ten large paving slabs laid in a row and surrounded by pebbles. This looked easy, surely it couldn't be that easy? I haven't wasted all this time being annoyed about something that could be sorted in a day could I?

Yes I could.

So off to the landscape depot (Central landscape, sorry Bunnings, it was just a price and convenience thing!)
As luck would have it, there were some end-of-line pavers going for $5 each, rather then $14.95 each that I'd seen at other stores. Hoo-ray!

The pathway is quite wide so we decided on two columns of pavers to help fill the space. As these were end-of-line, we could only get 13 pavers, so had to plan our design around this limitation.

As the area was already defined and mostly flat we only needed to give it a bit of a smooth over to get rid of  any bumps in the ground. If you don't have a set space you would have to dig it out and use some kind of compactor to flatten out the earth. But I'm no expert so I can only tell you what I did.

I covered the whole area in Weedmat making sure I overlapped the pieces so there was no space for weeds to grow through. Around the parameter edges is more difficult, and in the end you have to accept that you will need to pull out a few weeds that push up there.

Next The Bloke set out a string line to make sure the pavers were equal distance from the concrete edging that was already there, and from each other. I do love symmetry.

Then the pavers were laid on their allotted spaces.  We used one bag of finely crushed gravel to lay under the pavers to make sure they were completely level and there was no wobble when stood upon. A level really helped this process and it was the part that took the bulk of the time.

Once this was complete we shovelled on the pebbles. We used something called Hoki-Poki, which are quite small multi-coloured river pebbles. I had read that the smaller the pebble the easier on bare feet.
Well here in New Zealand we are often barefooted so small pebbles it was.

A going over with the rake to smooth out the pebbles and it was done.

What a difference! I did wonder if the pebbles would float with heavy rain, or if the pavers would move, but they have been down now for around six weeks and we have had torrential rain and the path is still looking great. I don't use weed spray due to the dog and the children spending a lot of time in the garden, especially now it is summertime here, so I have had to pull a few weeds, but not many. I may have spend 10 minutes in total over the last six weeks on weeding.

The finished path (the few dark spots are bark from the garden beds caused by the dog running through chasing the ball. Annoying, but great job for the kids when they want to earn a little cash, they come out and pick it up and throw it back into the garden.

 

 

The before shot is not available due to a technical hitch... but just imagine a cracked, weed-filled path so unattractive that visitors chose to walk across the lawn instead of using it!!

 

 

The area covered in Weedmat, and if you look closely, a string line down the middle of the path.

   Laying the first pavers on top of the crushed gravel.

Garage revealed

Plan your progress carefully; hour-by hour, day-by-day, month-by-month. Organized activity and maintained enthusiasm are the wellsprings of your power.

                                                                                                             Paul Meyer


This, I'm discovering, is the key to getting something finished. I am excellent at the inspiration and planning stages of a new project, but I lack in the follow-through-till-its-done department.

I spend more time looking at ideas on Pinterest and other people's blogs than getting down to the business itself.

What I need is to plan, then act, and most important of all, not stop until it is done.

With this new self-awareness and a renewed commitment to live in a tidy organised home where I can find a pair of scissors without losing my sanity, I have completed one area of the garage revamp.

When I say 'I', that should be a 'We', I could not have done this without The Bloke.

The whole project took quite a long time, because despite my best intentions, I was side-tracked by a wardrobe revamp half-way through! You'll see the wardrobe in a later post. I am beyond excited about having that completed!

But back to the garage.





   Drum roll please....




the finished area

 and a little reminder of the horrific beginning.   


words fail me...truly

How we got there...

First step was to THROW AWAY THE JUNK! This step cannot be over emphasised.

I bought the plastic 60L storage bins from The Warehouse, after seeing a design I liked on Pinterest. Once I had the bins, The Bloke and I were able to design a made-to-measure storage unit that would store all our bits and pieces in an orderly (and findable) way. I took the opportunity to add in a craft area which moves this activity away from the dining table.


Next we bought the pre-cut boards from Bunning's hardware store, the number of boards being determined by our plan. Just make sure you both count and agree on the number, as somehow we came back with one too few. Seriously annoying.

Then Miss B went to work pre-painting the boards. I highly recommend this step, even though waiting to start putting them together is really hard. For a few of the boards we skipped this step and it made painting at the end much more time consuming as each rectangle had to be painted instead of one flat plank.

Miss B pre-painting the Hardi-planks (plain pre-cut boards from Bunnings)

The Bloke cut the shelves, and using a router,  made a cut out for each shelf. He slid the shelves into place and used screws to reinforce them. He made four units like this, then attached two units together to make two complete double units. I wanted the craft area to sit between the two units for symmetry and to give the craft area a sense of containment.


the first unit put together

 To give the unit that lovely solid look, The Bloke attached 20mm x 10mm facia to the front of the unit with nails. This is a tip I gleaned from The view along the way blog  and it makes a huge difference to the finished look without a big cost.

I then went around with the hammer and punch to knock the nails in for plastering. If you haven't done this before, it is super simple. Line the punch up with the nail, then bang it with the hammer until the nail sits just below the surface of the wood. Fill the indentation with plaster, wait for it to dry, and sand off for a nice smooth painting surface.

facia nailed in place

                  

 hammer and punch

                                      

plastered and ready for sanding.

With the first of the twin units completed and attached to the wall, I painted a top coat of creamy white paint with a small roller. This was the most tedious part, and again I was very glad to have undercoated (most of) the boards before the unit was assembled!

the finished unit

 Along the way I found a few additional items for use as hanging storage. I painted the lot the same shade of white as the shelving unit, (and the wall too) this helps tie the whole area together creating a cohesive feel.

cheap (read ugly) wooden shelf from the charity shop for $2



        a single draw from an old set of draws too damaged for use, I levered off the front
facia and handle then sanded and painted it.

Both units were attached to the wall, and a store bought wooden counter top situated between them for my craft area. I wanted a counter top wide enough to lay out fabric etc. This countertop is the same type we used in the kitchen unit, so I was able to account for the size in the design.

The counter top is 600mm deep, and 2200mm long. I sat at a chair to check the height would be right for me to sit and sew here. I reused some cheap shelving we already had, and another old chest of draws that was surplus to requirements in the main house for additional storage.

I would like to paint the draws and units white to match, but that will have to wait.

the craft area with a place-holder top

 Then it was a matter of mounting the shelves, putting away all the craft supplies into the draws, and attaching the counter top once all the painting was complete.

\

    the single draw with some tin pails from the charity
shop $1 each, a ceramic egg holder (free from a neighbour) for beads and a glass jar for paint brushes.

Painted wooden shelf

huge glass jar (charity shop again!) for wool

A small fault in the design...where's the power socket???

Yes, don't forget to plan a source of power for sewing machine, hot glue gun, etc. I'll have to run a long lead over the top of the unit and down the wall instead.

the craft area

everything in its place.

I am so happy with how this area turned out. Most of all it gave us the confidence and skills to
tackle other areas of our home.