Important things I learned from my mother.

When I think of my mother, I wonder how such strength of spirit could be contained in such a small person. She migrated across the world to New Zealand from Ireland, outlived three husbands, and raised three teenagers alone. Her childhood was so far removed from my own it seems almost fictional. But it wasn't. She drew water from the village well, and cut turf for the fire. She lived in a world without phones, washing machines, or indoor plumbing. Her schooling was so strict it would be considered child-abuse today. People in her village died from malnutrition, and diseases that none of us will ever suffer with our vaccinations, and modern medicines.

Yet despite the poverty and the hardship that came from living in a world without modern conveniences that many now would consider essential, Mum had a happy life. She was well loved by her parents, and that taught her, in turn, how to love. She was good at loving people. Not an easy thing to achieve when you stop to think about it.


She told me once, not to be too sad when she died, she'd had a good life and couldn't live forever. That's a healthy philosophy if there ever was one.

Mum taught me so much throughout her life. She taught me the practical things, like how to iron a shirt. How to bake a cake, or a batch of scones. That it is important to be well dressed at all times. That a home should be tidy and organised (still working on those last two).

She also taught me the intangible things that make life good. She showed me that gratefulness is a gift. That working hard is never a waste of time. That unconditional love really does exist, and that one can keep going even after great loss and still find pleasure in life

She taught me how to consider others, how to be generous in spirit. That being right wasn't always necessary and to think about how my words would affect those to whom I would direct them.

I am grateful that she was my mother. I am grateful that my children knew their grandmother, and knew that they were adored, as all her grandchildren were.

I'll miss her voice, that lilting accent so recognizable. I'll miss her laugh and her sense of humour.

Then I'll remember the last time she smiled at me, so clear in my mind and I'll be grateful again for the gift that she was and for her life, well-lived, and well-loved to the last.

Grace