We're social creatures, designed to live in close proximity. In the past it was for safety and to share the hard slog of growing, harvesting, hunting or scavenging for food.
In our modern world, or at least the tiny part I inhabit, safety isn't such an issue. I'm not talking about burglars and criminals, they still exist and are the reason I lock my door at night. I mean the gang of viking raiders descending on your village to make off with your wife, your children and your livestock.
We don't need that kind of mass protection. We certainly don't need a team of people to harvest our food. A quick jaunt to the supermarket gets us anything we could want.
It doesn't take an entire day to do the laundry (unless like me you save it up til everyone''s down to their last pair of undies). And it doesn't take the whole family to keep the house running.
Now life doesn't require a group effort to survive, and we've moved into our little nuclear family units, I think humanity has suffered. The social contact we need for our health and mental well-being is no longer a given. It's not good for us to be isolated. Children need love and bonding, that's a scientific fact. The effects on children neglected and deprived of affection and touch are devastating. I don't think adults are any different, we need the same. Did you know that social isolation can be as detrimental to our health as smoking? (ref:https://www.ageconcern.org.nz/ACNZ_Public/Loneliness_and_Social_Isolation_Research.aspx)
I recently spoke to an elderly man in the course of my daily work who lived alone. He told me he couldn't remember the last time someone touched him, hugged him, or held his hand. I felt bereft on his behalf, and yes, of course I gave him a hug. I can't imagine not being touched, it's never occurred to me. My family hug each other, my children are all over me constantly, and The Bloke is not opposed to a little hand holding either.
Many people aren't as fortunate as me. Through the twists and turns of life it's easy to become isolated, especially as we age. Family and friends die or move away. Some families fall out with each other. Some people find social situations awkward and avoid them. Many of us have simply forgotten the daily courtesies that make life pleasant. I'm frequently in an elevator at the hospital were everyone on board is looking down at their phones, no eye contact, no good morning's exchanged, no smiles or acknowledgment of our fellow passengers existence at all.
The time we spend commuting and on the internet (like I am right this minute) also takes away from the time we could spend with others.
Check out this video I first saw as part of my children's school technology information evening. The discussion of the evening was how to prevent your kids becoming socially isolated through addictive behaviour around their devices. Its not just kids either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY&t=26s
At home everyone is in the lounge, T'V on, each person looking at their individual device. We're all together, but we couldn't be further apart. It's a tragedy when you think about it. And it happens so easily despite our best intentions.
We need to re-introduce simple social interactions, like smiling and saying 'good morning' to people we pass in the street. Getting to know our neighbours. Practicing the art of conversation with our kids. Teach them, through modelling the behaviour yourself, what consideration looks like.
Put down that device and get involved in your community. There are enormous benefits to being part of a community. Business connections, life long friendships and sometimes even marriages come out of being part of social groups, sports teams, and volunteering.
It isn't always easy to get involved. We're all pressed for time. It's far more convenient and often more comfortable not to get involved. But the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Consider making getting connected to your fellow humans (over the internet doesn't count) part of your life in 2017.
If that isn't your cup of tea, try looking up next time you get into the lift at work, say 'hello' to whomever happens to be around you, and stop to chat to your elderly neighbour when you run into them at the supermarket. Yes you might get knocked back on occasion. Don't let that put you off. It's just a matter of time before your kind words to someone are the only kind words they hear all day, maybe the only words at all.
Consideration and connectedness, could they be the underpinning principles of a more peaceful world? A happier, healthier family life? Shall we give it a go and see?
As always, have a great week.
Grace
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